![]() I'm a cowgirl, without a horse. The Cowgirl vs Cancer retreat that I had planned to be on, right now, and tell you all about in this edition - did not happen for me. The clinical trial I am in, which has been doing a great job of reducing my cancer, is also pummeling my immune system. My doc - who fully believes that cancer patients should live life to the fullest every chance we get - asked me to not travel. In an unprecedented act of compliance, I listened. Anyone who knows me, knows I truly love to be active, write, travel, and generally squeeze every last bit of fun I can out of life. So, being "grounded" and slowed down is a challenge for me to say the least. It's not like having the flu, or something that will pass, and you can get back to "normal." Having a terminal illness means, at the time in your life that you most desperately do not want to miss a single soccer game, party, or carpool, you often have to do just that - sit on the sidelines. I don't typically throw myself pity parties, but I will admit that I did have a good ol' cry about missing this long awaited yoga/horse retreat in Montana and meeting the other amazing cancer cowgirls and hosts with whom I'd been corresponding for months. Every time the kids stressed me out, a needle at the hospital was particularly painful, or I felt overwhelmed by foundation tasks - I thought of this trip and blissed out. "Oh my god, I can not wait for Montana," I kept repeating to myself, and anyone else that would listen. I wanted, needed, an escape from the reality of living day to day with this disease and all that goes with it. Not going was a huge blow. However, something came to mind, through my tears, while unpacking my still neatly folded yoga pants and riding jeans...Montana, was never the solution. I wanted it, sure, but I didn't need it. Of course, it would have been ah-mazing to get pampered, ride horses and be immersed in that beautiful scenery. But, I realized I had fallen back into the same patterns I had BTC (Before The Cancer). I had found my center - many times actually. But alas, I had lost it and become misaligned. It can happen so easily - we don't even notice it. That is until you find yourself sobbing like a four-year-old into some stirrups over a trip you had to miss. I was doing it again. I was "manufacturing" my life, instead of just living it. If I have learned anything from my experiences over the past (almost) three years - it is that all we have, for sure, is right now right in front of us. It is our choice how we choose to spend that time. We can't always choose where we are, or what we are doing - but we can ALWAYS choose how to think and, therefore, how to feel about it. We don't need a trip, a car, a house, a vacation, a raise, good weather, or even another person, to change that. Someday I will get to be in Montana, but for now - I will be grateful just to be able to "be." That is a simple, beautiful thing and that, I can do. ![]() Speaking of simple, beautiful things...I went to my post office box today for the foundation mail, and found a beautiful, lavender scented owl eye pillow with a note. It came from an amazing, fellow MBC patient across the country - named Becky Hall - whom I have featured here previously with her incredible movie Bare, based on her life. I reached out to her a few months ago, knowing she hadn't been doing so well and wanting to send her some love. She hadn't been up to responding at the time. Then, last week, she thought of me - and sent this ... Beautiful, simple, and it came just when I needed the boost she said my email had brought her all those weeks ago. See, I didn't need to go all the way to Montana to find peace and beauty after all. Don't get me wrong, I fully intend to go next year, as the lovely Margaret at Big Sky Yoga Retreats has kindly assured me I will, and I know I'll find the peace and beauty I sought there. However, unless I find it here, within me, first - in Montana is where it will remain.
24 Comments
Deb Artman
6/1/2018 04:21:12 am
Thank you for this ! True too !
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Beverly LeChase
6/1/2018 05:01:31 am
Rebecca, you are amazing, I’m sure you hear that a lot!! The inspiration & hope you give to others through “The Cancer Couch Foundation” and your blogs are powerful & does so much for so many, those w MBC & C!! It also helps the loved ones that are caregivers to understand how to LIVE each day & always stop to “smell the roses” along the way!! My husband is doing better now, we are trying to seize each day and each precious moment. Keeping in touch w your blogs strengthens us.
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Sharon Michael
11/10/2021 02:30:28 am
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Kamini burns
6/1/2018 04:06:15 pm
Lovely article. Yes we all need to find peace, comfort and acceptance of life within ourselves. The other things merely affirm this inner peace. i am Struggling to find inner peace abd acceptance after the sudden death of ny son. May we and others find this some day! You will be on that retreat next year as my amazing daughter always keeps her promises.
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Laura Burgoon
6/1/2018 09:41:46 pm
How inspiring. It really hit home as I struggle to just let go and live each day.
Cynthia Hopkins Fine
8/1/2018 04:39:30 pm
Dear Rebecca,
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arwen garza
8/23/2020 04:50:44 am
get your ex back with a love spell that works fast.
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Daryl Barco
6/1/2018 04:54:36 am
I am so "inspired" by what you write! Thank you!
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Sarah B
6/1/2018 05:39:25 am
Love this so much, Reb. Your unrelenting gift for finding positive & light in every situation is simply magnificent. Montana awaits next year, cowgirl!! ♥️ 🤠 ♥️
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6/1/2018 06:39:53 am
Sweet Rebecca, for you, I would bring a band of wild horses to my house. But I know you will be in Montana next year. xo
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Viv
6/1/2018 06:59:56 am
Reb, yet again you have managed to find tremendous grace in a disappointing situation! Love you so much and no doubt you will be there next year! In the meantime, we’ll simulate the ranch for you this weekend!💞. Xoxoxoxo.
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Bonnie Britz
6/1/2018 07:24:27 am
You are a powerful force of nature Miss Rebecca. You give us all a way to understand you, understand pain, understand joy and finally, understand ourselves. My heart swells for you in so many ways. With a warm embrace, Bonnie
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Sheryl Grabiec
6/1/2018 07:44:00 am
it does make life so much easier when you find the silver linings. Living in the moment is all we can do at this point. Thanks for you inspiration!!
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Lee T
6/1/2018 01:07:49 pm
I am so sorry you had to cancel the trip but I am in awe and Inspired by your ability to redirect and refocus on what matters, I hope I can remember this post at some point in time when I know I will need that inspiration....and it’s ok too to wallow in it for just a minute before you put on your big girl cow boots and look forward to going next year!
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Susie Thill
6/13/2018 06:36:33 am
I absolutely loved your post. As an almost 11 year terminal ovarian cancer Cowgirl stuck in the City I have also found LIVING in the moment is true life. I was on the Cowgirl vs Cancer retreat and it helped me find my center again, and this is something I need to do all the time. It’s so easy to lose. Your post will help me keep this in mind, thank you. Yeehaw and Namaste
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arwen garza
8/23/2020 04:51:10 am
get your ex back with a love spell that works fast.
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Lorena Andrea
10/9/2020 03:51:05 pm
I just want to share my experience with the entire world on how I got my husband back and saved my marriage… I was married for 5 years with 2 kids and I have been living happily with my family until things started getting ugly with me and my husband that leads us to fights and arguments almost every time… it got worse at a point that my husband filed for divorce… I tried my best to make him change his mind & stay with me cause i loved him with all my heart and didn't want to lose my husband but everything just didn't work out… He moved out of the house and still went ahead to file for divorce… I pleaded and tried everything but still nothing worked. The breakthrough came when someone introduced me to this wonderful, great spell caster called Dr Oniha, Who eventually helped me out… I have never been a fan of things like this but just decided to try it because I was desperate and left with no choice… He did the spell for me and things really worked out as he promised and my husband had a change of mind and came back home to stay with me and the kids. And promise never to hurt me again. We are living happily as it was with the help of Dr Oniha. If you are in need of help you can contact Dr Oniha.
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Kayla Martins
1/6/2021 03:34:41 pm
My husband and I have been married for about 7 yrs now. We were happily married with two kids, a boy and a girl. 3 months ago, I started to notice some strange behavior from him and a few weeks later I found out that my husband is seeing someone. He started coming home late from work, he hardly cared about me or the kids anymore, Sometimes he goes out and doesn't even come back home for about 2-3 days. I did all I could to rectify this problem but all to no avail. I became very worried and needed help. As I was browsing through the Internet one day, I came across a website that suggested that Dr Jumba can help solve marital problems, restore broken relationships and so on. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he did a spell for me. Two days later, my husband came to me and apologized for the wrongs he did and promised never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. My family are living together happily again.. All thanks to Dr Jumba . If you need a spell caster that can cast a spell that truly works, I suggest you contact him. He will not disappoint you. This is his Email:
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Ketina Barley
3/24/2021 03:20:38 pm
I trusted Zuma Zuk totally from the time I spoke with him during the period my husband Left me after 7 years of our marriage, He started the spell work on my husband, and gave me so much assurance and guaranteed me that he was going to bring my husband back to my feet in just 48 hours of the spell casting. I was so confident in his work and just as he said in the beginning, my husband is finally back to me again, yes he is back with all his hearts, Love, care, emotions and flowers and things are better now. I would have no hesitation to recommend this powerful spell caster to anybody who is in need of help.. E-mail; spiritualherbalisthealing@gmail.com or whatsapp him on +15068001647
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Jessica L. Smith
4/23/2021 03:41:29 am
After being in relationship with Wilson for seven years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that don’t believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I meant a spell caster called Dr Zuma zuk and I email him, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email: spiritualherbalisthealing@gmail.com or WhatsApp him +15068001647
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Antoine Fuqua
10/31/2021 01:25:09 pm
It gladdens my heart to know that I have someone to always run to no matter my situation in life. Lord Zakuza is a God in a human body that has never failed anyone for I am a living testifier of his good works. I've been separated from my woman for more than 2 years and I thought I've lost it all till I got referred to Lord Zakuza who helped me to regain my lost relationship with my woman within 48 hours. Lord Zakuza prepared a spell for me that brought back my woman and now we are reunited with much more love and happiness. Don't be sceptical about this because I've been through it and you might be the next lucky one to get your lover back forever within 48 hours. Whosoever you are and you need help, don't hesitate to get in touch with Lord Zakuza now via his website: lordzakuzaspells.com or via WhatsApp on: +1 740 573 9483 or through his email via: lordzakuza7@gmail.com and he also does lottery spells as well. Good luck to everyone reading this testimony of mine.
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Dale McEwen
10/5/2022 02:26:50 pm
I’ve been playing the lottery since I was 18, the highest amount I've ever won is $500 and I decided to get help online on how to win the lottery massively. I met Dr Amber who gives out numbers to win the lottery with his spells. I communicated with him and he told me what I needed to know about how the spell will be done for me and I accepted. After 72 hours, he gave me the numbers and instructed me on how to play the lottery. I was shocked when I was notified that I had won $70,000,000 in the lottery and I couldn't believe my eyes thinking I was dreaming but it was all real and happening. Getting rich is never by luck, it's something we all have to work for, people have been playing the lottery for years and have never won. If you want to win big, I advise you to talk to Dr Amber and let him guide you on what to do. Here are his contact information's Phone Number: +18084815132, Email: amberlottotemple@yahoo.com or check his website for his WhatsApp Number.... amberlottotemple.com
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Manuel Franco
4/17/2023 03:00:00 am
I just want to say Thank You to everyone who supported me through the years. My name is Manuel Franco, New Berlin, Wisconsin. My story of how I won the Powerball lottery of $768.4M is a bit of a tale. I have been playing Powerball tickets for 6 years now since I turned 18. I bought my first ticket on my 18 birthday. I was feeling very lucky that day because I had contacted Dr. Odunga Michael to help me with the winning Powerball numbers. I really had that great great feeling that I looked at the camera wanting to wink at it. I only did a tiny part of it and trusted him. He gave me the numbers after I played a couple other tickets along with it for $10. I checked my ticket after the winnings came online and saw the numbers were correct including the Power play. I screamed for about 10 minutes because it felt like a dream. I had won $768.4M. You can check my winning testimony with the lottery officials just with my name search. Thank you Dr Odunga. Well, his email is odungaspelltemple@gmail.com and you can also call or Whats-app him at +2348167159012 so you guys can contact him
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Priscilla
8/16/2023 07:41:47 pm
I want to give a big thanks to a great spell caster popularly known as DR Jumba for the great spiritual prayers he did to restore my broken relationship by bringing back my ex-lover back to me after many months of breakup and loneliness. With this, I am convinced that Dr Jumba is a Godsent to this world to rescue people from heartbreaks and also to help us get the solution to every relationship problem. for those of you out there who have one relationship problem or the other why not contact Dr Jumba he his specialize in Problem Solution :-》《Love Problem 》《Business Problem》《Divorce Problem》《Carrier Problem》《Abroad Settlement Problem》《Green Card Problem》《Childless Problem》《Black Magic Removal Specialist》《Husband and wife Disturbance》《Get Love Back by Special worship》《Enemy Problem》《Family Problem》Etc. wiccalovespelltools@gmail.com or text him on WhatsApp messenger: +27 72 395 5865
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